David Meltzer discusses how and effective communication

Why I Stopped Saying “No” and Started Asking “How?”

Effective Communication: Asking “How?”

How many times a day do you say no?  Why do you say no in the first place?  Most people will tell you they respond with “no” because of laziness, fear of failure, or they are too busy. In reality, there is a better solution than just saying “no”.  Of course, you don’t always have to say yes to everything.  Next time someone asks for help, try responding by asking them, “How?”.  It is a simple approach to improve effective communication in any relationship, personal or professional.

Connect Up and Out

In order to establish effective communication, we need to connect in two directions; upwards and outwards. First, we need to ‘connect up’ to what inspires you. When you are inspired, it raises your awareness and allows you to communicate effectively. We need to effectively communicate outwards as well. We need to connect to others around us and get aligned in order to “share a vision.”

Get Out of Your Way

Often times, we get in our own way when it comes to connecting with others. We forget about gratitude, empathy, and accountability. The biggest catalyst causing people to get in their own way is when someone automatically responds to a question by saying “no” without thinking. Next time you are about to respond “no” to a question, consider asking “how?” and see what type of response you get.

How Creates Possibilities

One of the best examples of this is a kid wanting a luxury car as their first car. Now, thousands of kids ask their parents for a car that is out of budget and not practical. The teenager usually gets a pretty quick answer, “No.” Consider what might happen if parents respond to their teenager, “How can we make this happen?” That child is going to respond two ways, they will quickly realize the improbability of earning enough money to purchase the car, or start thinking about the steps necessary to accomplish their goal. This opens up so many possibilities when someone truly is inspired; possibilities turn into probabilities. Then when we take appropriate action with strategy, discipline, and awareness those probabilities can become a reality (even getting a six figure car as an 18-year-old).

How – It Works

When people ask us for help, we need to ask, “How can we do it?” This is why effective communication is so important when trying to get what we want in life and business. Connecting up to that which inspires us and communicating out to inspire others enables us to accomplish our goals and our dreams. One simple question, “How?” is the key to getting out of our own way and communicating effectively.

By: David Meltzer

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